Book Review of Alpaca My Bags: Dying to Leave the Oasis by Violet Patton

BLURB:

Sweetie Bastard told Hunny Bunny—pack your bags we’re moving to lovely Tucson, Arizona. She hadn’t had a choice; he sold her house and bought a park model online sight unseen in the Desert Oasis 55 plus community.

More asphalt than oasis, the retirement community is hot, dry and terrible. Their new humble abode is one step above camping out and she doesn’t camp.

They hadn’t even unloaded the Caddy before the neighbor ladies arrive posing as a welcoming committee, inviting Bunny to enjoy the park’s many amenities. She gives the women her best grimace and agrees to take a water aerobics class, but she hates water worse than a cat.

First aerobic swimming lesson, they find the park’s athletic director weighted down at the bottom of the swimming pool. Bummer. Not a good start for Bunny’s first day in the Oasis.

Before she can escape from this locked-down unit, she plans where she’ll dump Sweetie Bastard’s body. He’s a big fellow, getting rid of him won’t be easy.

Will Bunny live happily ever after in the Oasis, or will she convince Sweetie Bastard to move to posh Scottsdale? It’s got to be better than Tucson.

MY REVIEW:

First off, I have to say, I bought this book based on the cover and title.  It’s adorable and grabbed my attention.  So, kudos on that. 

Now, for the story.  Cozy mysteries aren’t my normal reading material, but I like change.  As with most cozy mysteries, you have some element of humor.  Which is good, if the author can pull it off.  Which Violet does okay.  It did take me awhile to get into the book, as I felt some of the humor was forced.  Also, a little repetitious, too.

Bunny and Philly Winters are he main characters.  I did come to like them, and I got to the point where I looked forward to continuing the story.  Then, along comes Wanda.  The domino dominatrix.  I chuckled a few times over Bunny’s revengeful ideas.  But, nothing is as it seems at the Oasis.  Murder and mayhem abound. 

My biggest complaint is how the story ended. In fact, I downgraded my rating to a three because of it.  There is NO plot resolution, whatsoever.  Even in a series, there is always a plot arch that needs to be resolved.  Otherwise, you have disgruntled and dissatisfied readers. 

Maybe Violet thought the resolution of Dan’s murder covered that.  But, it didn’t.  So much emphasis is placed on Wanda, I felt that was the plot arch that needed to be solved. And to be honest, I didn’t like the resolution of Dan’s murder in the first place.  Seemed contrived to me.  Too convenient.  And, as a previous reviewer mentioned, the story could use the help of a good proofreader.

The 2nd book has been released since I bought this one on pre-order.  It’s priced at $3.99 and only 194 pages.  I don’t mind paying for indie books, BUT, what if Wanda’s murder doesn’t get resolved in that one either?  Nope.  Not buying. 

Anyway, I give Alpaca My Bags 3 stars. For 99 cents it’s worth the money if you like Cozy mysteries.